Who am I to do this?

          I am a middle class, caucasian, twenty-one-year-old, auto-immune, heterosexual, female college student. Who am I to dismantle racism? Shouldn't I be focusing on my degree, having fun with friends, or finding extra shifts to put a little cushion in my bank account? Aren't there issues that pertain more closely to myself like sexism, rising tuition costs, and spreading awareness for auto-immune diseases? Racism does not directly harm me, in fact it indirectly benefits me. I am more likely to get away with shoplifting, more likely to get the job, and children are more likely to believe I am nice, smart, and pretty simply because of the color of my skin and no other factors (see The Doll Test).
        Who am I to dismantle racism? I am a member of the human race and I see an opportunity to whittle away at the stilts racism is founded upon. Besides, I think too much. I often get into the stream of "What is the purpose of it all?" "After I graduate, get a job, maybe have a family, and die, it will have left no impact on the world as a whole especially once the sun or pollution destroys the earth." And it doesn't matter, unless I do something. Something other than study and work and socialize. Something that I can do because I am me, because I overthink, because I see the generational monstrosity that is racism and start thinking. Where did it come from? Why is it still here? How do we cripple it? Perhaps it is selfish of me, or not my place, or not within my capacity to even attempt to dismantle racism or even to just comprehend its magnitude. Perhaps I am not the one to do this, but I am doing it.
       I comprehend that contensious issues and interpretations will come up in future posts. It is not my intension to be disrespectful or cruel. This blog is my thought process, my rambling, partially filtered attempt to understand why, why people can be so nice in person yet so cruel when the system supports it, why the youth are unable to reject the preconceptions of their parent's time, why racism did not disintegrate after the first tragic death and why it continues to remain after shame and disaster nip at its heels.